so now she controls you? wow. you've got a keeper there! haven't even started your relationship and already she is telling you what to do. have fun with her. she could never give you what i could've but because you never gave me a chance, you will never know. i wonder how she gunna be treating you in a months time? well good luck to ya.

when i think of you i remember when I woke up in the middle of the night and i would know im safe where i am just because you were holding me throughout the night. i remember when we sat out on the front porch for about 2 hours and just talked about everything and you told me how you felt about me and what you want from me and us.. i miss watching you drive and smiling at you cus i knew that you were mine and that you made me the happiest girl alive, smiling randomly throughout the day at nothing but reminding myself that i had you to think about. i remember when you told me i was beautiful and that you cant wait to see me again, and how much you wanted me to be closer to you so you could come home from work and me be there for you to kiss and snuggle up too. i remember when you told me that i was the one.. and i believed every word you ever told me because you said everything i wanted to hear and you knew all the right things to say.. i miss how i could come home from school and you would text me saying.. im home my hunny call when you want.. and then we would talk for hours on end about nothing but stay on just because we didn't wanna hang up. when we webcam-ed each other and you promised me your family wouldn't be all around and surprisingly enough your family was around watching :) i miss how i would be able to text you during the day knowing i would get a reply. i miss you. i miss us. i miss everything. please dont give up on me. i didn't even get a proper chance to show you what this could've been like.. <3

jealously has got the best of you sweetie :) 

a real man doesn't love a million girls. he loves one girl in a million ways.  <3

a relationship shouldn't ruin a friendship.

ill be there for you whenever you need me. i promise.

i love this babygirl like no one knows <3

the other night i was thinking and i have to say im rather hurt on who you chose. not only because she's not the prettiest thing on this planet but because i know you can do alot better.. i want you to have a happy life and have a successful life and partner, and i have to say she aint going no where. and then i was thinking about what i could give you from me when im older and finished uni and school and all that. i would provide you with the world. i would do anything to see a smile upon your face, i would cater to you every day all day. and honestly when Ive finished studying and im employed and lifes great im just going to look at you and think i could have given you so much, but instead you went with her. so really its not my loss its your own. but i hope you think twice before you think she can provide you with your needs.

had mean night last night :) haha got a little happy after dance show with mum and everyone! was great to have a few drinks and have some laughs! love you all that made me have a awesome night and put my smile back on my face.
but now its time to get rowdy with the girls :) lets party! and drink down and live up! <3

right.. so you tell me things that i wanna hear, lead me along, lead me to believe that im everything you've ever wanted, told me that im the "one", said that you will wait for me? lol it makes me laugh to think about all the things you ever said to me.. you really dont understand the effect you had on me do you? you made me fall for you, you said you'd catch me! now Ive fallen, Ive hit rock bottom and there aint shit i can do about it now as you've fucked off with your ex girlfriend, in which you told me there was no other girl on the scene? it makes me so angry to think that you caused this pain and you put theres tears on my face & you dont give a fucking shit. well you know what FUCK YOU!
im going to show you that i can do this without you, and im going to successful just like you want me too! i could've done this for us! but instead im gunna do it for me. and when you're coming back to me wanting another chance cause Ive done something with my life instead of sit on my ass all day with kiddies running around me, your going to be sorry about that choices you made when you had the chance.

your everything i thought you never were. and nothing like i thought you could've been. but still you live inside of me so tell me how is that? your the only one i wish i could forget the only one i love to not forgive; and though you break my heart, your the only one. and i know there are times when i hate you cus i cant erase the times that you hurt me and put on my face. and even now i might hate you it pains me to say, i know ill be there at the end of the day. i dont wanna be without you babe, i dont wanna broken heart, dont wanna take a breathe without babe i dont wanna play that part. i know that i love you but let me just say.. i dont wanna love you in no kind of way I don’t want a broken heart And I don’t wanna play the broken hearted girl. Something that I feel I need to say. But up to now I’ve always been afraid that you would never come around and still I want to put this out you say you've got the most respect for me but sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me and still you’re in my heart but you’re the only one and yes there are times when I hate you but I don’t complain cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away but now I don’t hate you I’m happy to say that I will be there at the end of the day. I don’t wanna be without you babe I don’t want a broken heart don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe I don’t wanna play that part I know that I love you But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl. now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free to spread my wings and fly away
away with you; I don’t wanna be without my baby. I don’t wanna a broken heart. Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby. I don’t wanna play that part. I know that I love you. But let me just say. I don’t want to love you in  kind of way.I don’t want a broken heart.. I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl.

this hurts so fucking much. everything you said i believed everything you told me was a lie. i believed you were a good guy, that you wouldn't do that to me! and look at me now.. i dont even know who i am anymore. you've hurt me so bad. my hearts broken. and you always said i dont wanna hurt you or break your heart! how can you do this after knowing how deeply i feel for you! fuck you! fuck you for everything! 

hope to hear from you soon; missing you soo much :[

please dont give up.

i know i dont need a man by my side to make me happy; to make me laugh,  nor to make me feel complete. i just like the feeling of knowing that no matter what time of the day it is, no matter how i feel or whats going on in my life; knowing he's there and he will listen to whatever bullshit i have to say, to make me smile when i cant make myself, to have cuddles at the end of each day, kisses randomly without having to ask why, holding hands even makes my day. so no man can make me whole cause i am independent i just like the feeling of knowing hes there no matter what and he's mine and im his <3

I told you that when i love; i love with all of me, so if you break my heart your breaking all of me.

my hearts crying out for you.

you mean more than you think you do.

Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JDB2XqbqeIE

Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful yet.

was walking round today with my sister 2months babygirl <3 and one lady turned around and said i suit being a mum :) makes me want one now :)

last night i went to bed with tears rolling down my face, i hoped in and just let all the emotion flow, the tears kept coming and my heart just kept on hurting. why does this always happen to me! you tell me i haven't lost you but slowly you are drifting away, i know that im going to lose you and i dont know if im going to be able to cope without you. you make me so happy, you make my world a better place for me, you bring me sunshine and happiness, you leave and all that leaves. im hurt by whats happened and i dont know how to change it. im doing everything not to give up, i just hope you haven't cause once you have i may as well cause what am i fighting for and putting my all into if you've let go? Ive never cried so bad like i did the other night, i didn't even want to get up in the morning.. dont let me down please. i need you the most at this point in time and i hope i dont need to ask you to be there.. this isn't easy and i know it isn't for you, but if you mean all you said then i wouldn't be in this mess.

it could've been something wonderful. it could've been something we both wanted for so long. it could've been amazing. it could've been overwhelming. it could've been us inseparable. it could've been that feeling people get when happiness is all they feel. it could've been me & you.

there are two ways to be happy; improve your reality, or lower your expectations.

so cute! (:

i become attached to you when i know its wrong on all levels. i wish i could show you how much you mean to me. im going to prove to you that you are EVERYTHING that i want, and im going to fight for you! my heart aches for you, its not love i know that its just that i care for you immensely. it could be love. but not yet. you've promised me somethings that i hope dont get broken. i understand completely your reasons for doing what your doing; i just dont understand just yet that your not mine anymore.. i miss you.  

CHANGE!

when something changes, you dont realise until you look back on the old times, they can be good changes and bad.. but usually you look back and think "i miss that." but its worse when you know that something is changing and its something that you dont want to change. Its hard to accept change, but you cant do anything about it as you have no power over anything apart from what you do. i hate having to look back on people and know they've changed for the worse, even worse when they were close to you and you start drifting apart; but i guess thats just life for you and you move on from it but change sucks. i wish somethings just wouldnt change..

he means the world.

i wish that you could step into my body for 5minutes and see how much you mean to me. how much i care for you. how much i want to cater to you. it hasnt been long for you and I, but ever since i laid eyes on you i knew this could be something wonderful. i still want it to be. but your not going to wait forever and we both know that. i dont want to lose you to someone else, thats my worse fear. the day you move on, is the day i will lose everything. you mean more to me than you'll ever know.

what if?

if im to move will it be the right choice.. if i was to stay do i lose the one thing i want the most.. what if..?