3 days til my birthday :D cannot wait! and Saturday can get its ass here now! :D 

i wanna getting fucking ROWDY!

hmm.. tonight was nice; yes. yes it was :)

this is for all the girls out there that feels this.

for all the girls that have been hurt, lied to, betrayed, cheated, back stabbed, abused, used this one is for you.

at the end of the day you have to remember that life does go on, maybe not with the person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, or with the person you would like to spend the rest of your life with, maybe without that one special person who thought could never do wrong by you, but life keeps going, and you get stronger by each prick that hurts you. 

no matter what has happened between you and a guy that has done wrong by you, he makes you stronger, keep your head held high and realise you deserve better than your heart to be abused by some wanker who has no heart at all.

you all are beautiful and you deserve the best someone can give you, their all, their everything, for you to be treated like a queen; and if he cant give you that, then say to hell with him.

if they want to be treated the way they treat you then they need to wake up and realise the pain the put us through and the shit we deal with,

we dont want them to be perfect, we dont want them to buy us everything they can, we just want our hearts looked after and from them to look after us.

so girls, the next time you feel as if your getting done wrong by, get up and tell them to get fucked. 

your all worth more and if he cant see it then he's blind.

FUCK YOU.

GO FUCK YOURSELF.

GO TO FUCKING HELL.

what's my name - Rihanna ft. Drake

Baby you got me, aint nowhere that I’d be
Then with your arms around me
Back and forth you rock me
So I surrender, to every word you whisper
Every door you enter, I will let you in

and when you need a place to run to, for better for worse i got you <3

you know the saying.. 



sometimes we put up walls, not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to knock them down.


well i wanna knock down those walls cus i care about you alot, but its hard when you push me away; but im going to show you that im going to be here whenever you need me and im not going to give up. i cant. not yet. 

I know there is something else going on, and its not that I want to be nosey and know. its I wanna know to be there for you, for you to talk to me and let me in on whats going on in your world. I want to be able to be there for you when you need me and for you to talk to me when you just need to let it out.
im always going to be here, i just wish you could tell me so I can be there for 

you.

baby please dont go.
if i wake up tomorrow, will you still be here?

i dont know, if you feel the way i do,
if you leave im gonna find you,
baby please dont go.. ):

baby please dont, baby please dont.. run away.

<3

please text me and tell me it was a mistake, and you want to go back to the way it was.. please.

when that one person holds you, you light up.

when that one person kisses you, you smile uncontrollably.

when that one person tells you all the right things, you feel like your on top of the world.

when that one person holds you throughout the night, you feel protected.

when that one person holds your hand, you know they feel the same.

when that one person tells you they feel the same for you, you start to fall.

but when that one person tells you that they dont want it anymore, you crash & hit rock bottom.

arrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!

what the fuck is wrong with me?!?!!?

i knew this would happen.

but once again i will pick myself up not because i need to but because i want to,

to show everyone im stronger and no one can beat me down that easy,

no matter how much i wanted this,

i cant have it,

cause they dont want me,

but thats fine,

i can get up again,

and put the smile back on my face,

i just wish it hadn't of ended so soon i guess.

i started a war that i cant win..

when you feel something for someone, and you tell them, your trusting them, you giving them some bit of you that no one else has. if they tell you they feel the same then all of a sudden you heart feels like its floating and the world is on your side. but what happens when the day comes and you know its here, somethings wrong, things are different and then they tell you they just want to be "just friends" and your heart drops to your stomach and you feel sick, your not ready to feel this way yet, but you cant change whats happening as this is their choice and you cant change the way they feel. you pray and you hope to god they will turn around and say "just jokes" but really in the back of your head you know that they aren't going to say the words you want to hear. all you can do is go through your head on why? why are they doing this and what did I do wrong? and then they say "its me" and all you can still think of is "why?" and it just hurts, doesn't matter how long you've been with this person maybe a day or two, maybe a week, maybe even a month or year, but no matter how long its been your heart still has that pain, the pain where you know everything is going down the drain again. one moment things are soo good between you two, theres a smile painted on your face 24/7, you tell everyone, you text them all day, and you want to see them as much as you can to spend time with them cause you like their company. you love their hugs and their kisses are the sweetest thing to have, their voice is like a soundtrack to your ears, and their touch is indescribable. 
I thought that this could've been something, something that I have wanted for soo long, you showed me that you were there and you felt the same, we didn't have that much time but in that time i had memories with you. 
I was waiting for this day i was waiting for you to tell me you didn't want this anymore.. you just wanna be friends, for my heart to be let down again, and for things to change in the blink of an eye. i should know by now the routine of this,
friends with someone
like them
tell them
they like you back
you have a "thing"
then you either stay having a "thing" or go out.
but in the end they always say "just friends"
my heart has got used to this feeling now, its like a second nature and soon my heart wont be able to love any longer, because it cant trust anyone, you were something special to me and i wish that we had longer to try it out but i guess i can't change anything now, and I now have to let you go.. 

outta this world - Jason Derulo
my girl - Iyaz ft. A.O.N
heartbeat - Enrique Iglesias ft. Nicole S
without you - Chris Brown
she flies me away - Jason Derulo feat. Nemesis
up in the sky - Chris Brown

im preparing myself to get hurt, to be let down, to be betrayed, to be lied to, to be walked over, but most of all for you to walk out on me and for all to end.

ive been hurt so much and let down, that all i can think about is 'when am i going to be hurt once again?'

i just expect this to come to an end very soon.. cus i guess what they say is true 'all great things come to an end' so im waiting for you to call it quits; but id really like it if you didnt..  i want this.

.

i am soo happy! lifes great at the moment. 

find your love - drake.

lying on the beach with the one you have feelings for, with nothing else but feeling their heart beat against your body, and listening to the waves of the ocean just feels soo right. the moment of looking into their eyes is amazing knowing that you feel the same way they do, its the best feeling in the world. then your lips lock into theirs, and you slowly kiss but a little smile is wanting to come out, you try hold it in but you cant and in the middle of kissing them you smile. this feeling is amazing.

i wanna be loved for who i am, not what you want me to be. i want to be respected because i respect myself. i want to be remembered as some girl who always picked herself up at the hardest times, not because she needed to but because she wanted to show people that shes strong and she could do it. i want to be shown things that Ive never seen before, for someone to open up my eyes on their perspective on life and show me how they see things. i want to be different from everyone else, i want to be treated fairly, i want to be forgiven when i say sorry and when i know im in the wrong, i just want to me and have someone treat me the way I should be treated i deserve more, and im going to have more. i will not settle for any less than I deserve.

Eventually she got used to the shit he put her through, and crying herself to sleep became a personal lullaby.

i've never had this many feelings for one person. don't get me wrong,
i've fallen for people before. but it's different this time. this time, i feel so much.

i hate the waiting game, but i guess at least i have something to look forward to.. seeing you :)

one day he'll wake up and realise how amazing she really was and when that day comes she will be waking up next to the man who already knew.

i love my best friend RICKY "chick chick POW" :L hahahaha 

hmm you pathetic, pathetic girl. feeling sorry for you actually :L you make me laugh. your poor little drama filled life just doesn't satisfy you does it. "maybe one day when i win the lotto i might just even buy you a life" :L
go to hell bitch.

im soo keen for summer. dinner on the beach on Wednesday night :) 

see all my "homies" there :) <3

dont my girls look amazing! love you all! <3

just put two bikini's on lay-by! love them so much! cant wait to wear them.

 

got tan lines :D the suns shining and life is absolutely great! :D

except.. school tomorrow :/

but only 4weeks left! 20 school days! FUCK YEAH! 

then summer here I come! ;)